The 32 Decider Skills

The Decider Skills Web App


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The Decider 12 Life Skills here

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The Decider Skills APPs - 32 and 12 Skills

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New Web App - both 32 and 12 skills

The Decider Skills Web App


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The Decider Skills for Self Help book available from Amazon

The Decider Skills for Self Help online course





Stop! - Take a breath - Observe - Pull back - Practice and/or Proceed

It Will Pass

Thoughts and feelings come and go. Situations change. Sometimes all we can do is keep going. It will pass.


What can I do right now to help me focus on something else, instead of my distress?

Do One Thing

Choose something to do. Do it mindfully. How long for? 20 minutes !

Turn The Mind

Choose to take the new resourceful and helpful way. Use a skill ! If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

Right Now

Right Now: 5 things I can see - 4 things I can hear - 3 things I can touch - 2 things I can smell - 1 slow deep breath


what can I use to soothe myself? Soothe my senses. What is in my sooth bag/box/app that will help me to feel better?


What are my values? What is really important to me? What can I do that will help me take a step towards my chosen life direction?


Focus attention on the breath. Imagine a balloon inflating on the in-breath, and deflating on the out-breath.


Take the helicopter view! Pull back. What's the bigger picture?

This Moment

Focus on the here and now, in this moment. Say to yourself: "I am sitting" or "I am walking". "I am looking" or "I am listening". "I am breathing". Notice the sensations of that activity in this moment.


Where is my focus of attention? What am I thinking about? Where do I want to focus?


Am I drifting? Is my attention wandering? Bring attention back to my chosen focus.

Fact or Opinion

Ask yourself: Is this thought fact or opinion? Come back to the FACTS !

Wise Mind

Taking reasonable mind and emotion mind into consideration.... What would Wise Mind make of this?

Keep Calm And Carry On

Focus on your chosen slogan or positive self talk statement to help you cope during distressing times.

Self Care

Sleep - Eating & Exercise - Look at other factors - Find fun, achievement and enjoyment - every day. Be kind to yourself !


Don't believe everything you think ! Thoughts are just thoughts.

Name The Emotion

What emotion am I feeling right now? I can notice the urge to react, and choose a more helpful response.

Opposite Action

Notice the emotional action urge - and do the opposite. If anxious, instead of escape/avoid - approach. If angry, instead of attack - kind approach or gently withdraw. If depressed, instead of withdraw/isolate - do something, be with others.

Sieve Or Sponge

What thoughts am I sponging? What am I sieving? What can I start to notice instead?

Build Positive Experiences

What can I do to add more colour into my life? More nourishing and less depleting activities.


Where am I on my personal scale? What can I do to help balance myself?

Pace & Plan

Play - Achieve - Care - Energise - Prepare - List - Action - Notice


I have 2 ears and only one mouth! How can I show that I'm really listening?


The more I give - the more I get. Respect myself & others - Treat others as I want to be treated


What can I learn about what happened? What went well? What didn't go so well? What can I do differently next time?

Crystal Clear

Concise - Lucid & Logical - Emotion-free expression - Assertive - Realistic.

Ask or Say No

How can I ask someone what I really want to ask for? It's OK to say no - I can say it in a way that is OK for me as well as the other person.

Maintain Relationship

Say in touch with friends, family and important others. When you're feeling low, let someone know.

Talk The Talk

Communicate assertively. Smile - warm & friendly - relaxed - comfortable eye contact.

End Or Mend

Is this relationship healthy for me? How can I end or mend this relationship? Can I keep a door open?